My first post with insecure-writers-support-group!
We all have our insecurities, we just deal with them differently and some of us are lucky enough to give them barely any thought at all. I’ve never been one of those people, but the older I get the more I can deal. I find unfounded insecurities easiest to ignore (and more of that another month) but it is hard where I have evidence for my insecurity, or think I do.
For example: I get nervous during job interviews. I know it shows, because my boss told me not long after I started ‘you were so nervous during your interview!’ Of course now whenever I have to have an interview, I will be very nervous because I can’t hide it, and I will worry about my ability to interview at all.
It is the same with my writing, at the moment I am line editing and so I see all those words I have to cut (and since I did that post, I add 'it' and 'could' to the list!). I think my prose needs so much work! Too much! What merit is here? *cue shakespearian drama*
The key things I try and note are:
I still got the job, despite my nerves, it was my boss who pointed them out. So evidently my research and examples and knowledge won me through. My writing may need a strong line edit, but my characterisation and pacing have been worked through.
Also, I may not get nervous at every interview - perhaps I was just bad at hiding it that day. Perhaps sections of this story need more of a line edit than others. Isn't that how we improve anyway, through a tight edit?
Furthermore I can work and improve my writing. Better to build my house through practical fixes, if I can, than to let insecurities knock it down.
How about you? Do your insecurities have foundation, somewhere in your head, and how do you deal?
I have run now, so it may be tomorrow until I come encourage you with IWSG but ENCOURAGE I WILL. (Also means I may miss YA Highway again, which makes me sad, but we'll see how time goes - love to all).
Use the nervousness to your advantage and maybe they will think it's enthusiasm.ReplyDelete
Some of my insecurities have to do with reviews of my first two books, but all I can do is work to improve.
That's true, perhaps I can pass off nerves as enthusiasm.Delete
Beth Revis had a great post on reviews, not sure if you saw, listing how many famous books had bad reviews, and how many people don't like for example bacon, it's worth a read if you haven't seen. All any of us can do is work to improve.
Thank you for commenting and visiting.
Gosh I have so many insecurities I just try and deal with them the best I can! Thanks for sharing we can all encourage each other.ReplyDelete
We can indeed ;) Thank you for commenting!Delete
It is so much easier when you kind of give yourself permission to be insecure. Usually there is a little bit of bad and a little bit of good. I don't let it get to me because like you said, one can always work to improve things!ReplyDelete
We can! Better to work at it isn't it? Thank you so for commenting!Delete
My first time showing my insecurities to the group too - I'm not the only newbie :) You mirror me in all you say here. I get a lot of people telling me they think I'm so confident though? It truly baffles me. Even one close friend claimed ignorance to my mass of insecurities. I had to ask how close we were after that, I admit. And your self-talk advice is spot on. I do that all the time. Negative voices are the bane of the insecure - they require a firm shove in the ribs occasionally. :)ReplyDelete
Negative voices DEFINITELY require a firm shove in the ribs!! We are both new ;) Thank you for visiting me here and commenting!Delete
now that i'm older, i am less insecure. i know what i am capable of and i know not everyone will like me...so i take opinions and judgments for what they are worth. dont get me wrong, i still want people to like me, want to work with me, etc, but i dont worry about if they will or not.ReplyDelete
that makes me feel old! i need to go play a video game now!
Ah ha ha ha yes, go play a video game! Let it all out! But I know exactly what you mean - the older I get the less insecure I am and the more I can shush that insecure voice!Delete
I hate job interviews - I cringe when I remember mine for my current job, especially now I'm line-managed by the person I made a fool of myself in front of.ReplyDelete
Welcome to the support group - it's great here!
Thank you for the welcome ;)Delete
Heh yes my line manager is the one who said 'and you are so nervous!'. Oh well!
Thank you for visiting my blog and for your wise words.
Now a follower.
No problem at all, thank you for coming and visiting and following! :)Delete
I'm not the most comfortable with job interviews either, but you have the right attitude about it.ReplyDelete
This is a great support group. Welcome aboard!
Thank you it is very nice to be here!Delete
Argh I hate interviews but they can't be avoided!
Good for you honey! :)ReplyDelete
I LOVE what you said about building your house, what a great analogy!
I have the opinion that there is no such thing as failure when it comes to writing, it's all just a learning curve ;)
Thank you for coming and visiting and commenting.Delete
That is true, we're always making our writing better!
Happy first post for IWSG! It's a great group. :)ReplyDelete
I don't know if I'd say that I have foundations for my insecureties or not. I could certainly come up with some foundation for them, but that doesn't mean they would be valid! ;)
Thank you for visiting and commenting.Delete
Absolutely doesn't make them valid, just that it somehow does in my head before I tell myself off ;)
I think most insecurities are based on something real and valid. The problem is that most of us tend to blow them up and focus on them too wildly! I still struggle with the fear of failure every time I sit down to write. It's a daily battle. Thankfully, it's a battle I've become accustomed to winning, thanks in no small part to groups and communities like this one!ReplyDelete
Keep at it, Viklit!
Thank you, that's very encouraging. And you are right we blow up that validation too much. It's a difficult battle but groups like this do help! :)Delete
Talking to anyone new is hard for me. Job interviews are NOT my best quality. Heck I still get nervous talking to my boss and I've had my job for 9 years lolReplyDelete
Found you through ISWG:
Job interviews are not nice!Delete
Thank you for visiting ;)
Job interviews are never fun. I do like your thinking on insecurities. :)ReplyDelete
They are NEVER fun.Delete
Thank you for visiting ;)
I love your metaphor about writing / building a house. Great thoughts, and super positive attitude!ReplyDelete
Welcome to IWSG. :))))
Thank you, I am trying to be positive, I try I try! It's good to have a group like this to talk with. Thank you for visiting ;)Delete
I could relate to so much of what you say, even the job interviews. Luckily, I'm retired now, so don't have to worry about that. Still, writing is another story. I felt encouraged by your writing. Thanks and good luck to you.ReplyDelete
I am glad you felt encouraged; thank you for commenting and good luck to you!Delete
I'm so glad you can see that improvement is a good thing! There are many people who take the "are you saying I'm not good enough?" approach with regard to improvement. I think we're always good enough, but we can always improve at the same time!ReplyDelete
You are absolutely right; your positive attitude is one we can all learn from. We can always improve even if we are the best! Usain Bolt doesn't sit about thinking he's fast enough I'm sure, he trains to get even faster!Delete
Thank you for commenting.
Job interviews make me nervous too, and so does talking in front of people. Yet when I get the opportunity, I make sure I do it. The only way to deal with the fears is to face them. And hopefully they'll improve us along the way. :)ReplyDelete
You are so right, one has to make oneself do it! And hope we improve you are right. Thank you for your positive words.Delete
I hate job interviews. I think it's hard NOT to get nervous. Congrats on landing the job and getting so much done in your book. Line edits are hard, but good that the characterization and pace are looking good!ReplyDelete
Thank you for the encouragement; line edits are very hard but I am getting there.Delete
Learning to write better involves exactly what you're doing: revising and revising again. It also helps if you have a good crit group and authors that you admire. They give you something to aspire to. Good luck!ReplyDelete
Thank you for commenting, you are so right that reading people you admire helps. I strive to be that good.Delete
One thing about writing is that you are never truly finished. I wonder if published authors read their books and say, "I should have written this..."ReplyDelete
Nice to meet ya!
You are never finished! It is so hard to know when to draw that line.Delete
Nice to meet you, thank you for commenting!
I feel the most insecure when I'm editing and when I'm shopping for who will publish the piece, however I don't let it stop me from doing it. It is intimidating, but I go forth and I believe I'm doing everything in my power to make those stories the best I've written so far. I also worry, "what if even then they're not good enough?" Well, then there's nothing else I can do but keep on writing and improving until what I write is good enough.ReplyDelete
Sometimes the pep-talk works, others it doesn't... But I won't stop writing. And that's that. =)
Good luck! From Diary of a Writer in Progress
Thank you for your lovely encouraging words. We can only keep improving, you are right!Delete
For me, I hate editing & job interviews too.
It sounds like you made progress. Congrats! Welcome to ISWG!
Thank you so for commenting! I am finding ISWG very supportive, thank you.Delete