Wednesday 1 August 2012

IWSG: Putting yourself out there

Writing is about losing yourself in characters, becoming part of their lives. It is building the world of your story (their story) in the bricks and mortar of words and phrases, of full stops and commas. It is about building that world in order to communicate it.

It’s Insecure Writers Support Group time and I have been thinking about the gap which exists between burying oneself in a story on the one hand, lost in one’s writing cave, and sharing that story with the world.

It’s hard, I think, to go from the story being in your head to on the page to with other people. There are critique partner notes, which are tempered with love (we hope) so this part is easier to take. Even when stories evidently did not work quite how you thought they had. There’s worry about how much of yourself you have put into the story, about how much you are exposing.

In these days of social media, there are added worries about putting ‘yourself’ or however your online profile=yourself, out there. The posts which garner few comments, the tweets you wonder if anyone heard. Do you worry about number of followers or not?

Then there’s the putting the story out there to agents and to publishers. To Be Judged, because that is how it feels. I am hopefully soon going to send off, and I’ll admit, part of me doesn’t want to. It’s easier to hide in the cave and not share. To not have to steel myself for rejection.

Then I think, for every fear about posting, tweeting, blogging, sharing my work with CPs - what I have got back has been immeasurable. I have to hope sending my work out there will be the same.

Even if I might have to start a #sendityouwuss before I do ;)

Anyone else have any thoughts about ‘putting yourself out there’ in writing, or online?

58 comments:

  1. Putting your work out there will always be scary, but it sounds like you've already leapt over some pretty big hurdles! Keep going, it will be worth it!

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  2. I totally hear you. I'm still trying to work up the courage to send my story to the people who have volunteered to beta read it. I'm such a chicken. I'm terrified that they'll hate it, think it's too cliche, hate some of the choices I made...on and on it goes. O_o

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    1. Oooh now well I think you should definitely just send it out to everyone who wants to beta read (pick me pick me!!) at your earliest possible convenience ;) Seriously, I understand that fear. And getting notes from critique partners/betas isn't always easy, if bits don't work for them that totally work for you, for example. But one hopes that they'll praise the good as well as the bits which can be improved, and that all critique will be constructive and helpful.

      But I get it, totally. It's hard to opening that door and showing anyone!

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  3. Sending work out 'to be judged' is always scary! Just do it, then try to not think about it. (Like that's possible.) Wish I had better advice, but I don't. You'll do fine and it will be worth it!
    Good luck!

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    1. Thank you, I think that probably is the best advice. As Nike say, Just do it!

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  4. Hi fellow ISWG member! I totally understand. It is tough putting my work out there, especially lately as I've been feeling a little on the "my work sucks" side of the writing bed. haha Anyway, but that's the only way to get there. And we will be judged regardless so why not go in all the way, right? Great post,

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    1. You are right there, if it's going to be judged regardless I guess may as well be in with both feet!! Thank you for commenting.

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  5. I totally agree with everything you said. I'm okay when I send my work to a CP because I can keep saying, "Oh, it's still rough," but the minute I show it to people who aren't writers (be they family, friends, strangers, or agents), there's suddenly a lot more pressure. But you were right, too, about the feedback and the response being worth the cost. Even if it is kind of terrifying too. :-)

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    1. Terrifying but good, it's a funny combination! Thank you for the comment ;)

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  6. I think putting yourself out there in any way is difficult. We have no way of knowing how our words will be received or if they'll be received at all. We write, blog, tweet, facebook. Does anyone care what we have to say? Maybe, maybe not. But the important thing is to keep doing it anyway. We'll never know otherwise.

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    1. It is hard, we can't monitor everyone's reactions or even tell what they will be. You are right, we just have to keep doing it!

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  7. well put. I'm still getting feedback on my manuscript so I know there's still time to fix it up, but I freak out when I think about actually sending it out to agents, because there's no turning back.

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    1. That is the scary part! Thank you for commenting ;)

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  8. I was totally scared to put my work out there. I've done now about 20 times and I'll say, it gets easier with time...:)

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    1. Thank you, I know you are right, just jump over that first hurdle eh!

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  9. It's true that the sooner you develop your "thick skin", the better. Rejections and bad reviews will always sting a little, I think, but being able to move past that feeling is an important skill. I have FAR more respect for the writers who can shrug off any negativity directed towards them than the ones who throw a tantrum about how misunderstood they are and no one can possibly realize their brilliance! *flails*

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    1. You are completely right, you have to be able to shrug off negativity in this business and I admire those who have it down. Thank you, an inspiring comment.

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  10. This is beautifully written. We put ourselves "out there" in so many ways. It's scary every time, isn't it?

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    1. It is scary. (I often think it's like dating. Dating is putting yourself out there big time.) But all we can do is keep on doing it I guess.

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

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  11. I understand completely. I can rationalize until I'm blue in the face that query/writing/contest/social media rejections aren't personal, but it sure can feel that way.

    I've only recently started blogging, and while I WISH I could say I wasn't looking at the # of followers I have, I am. And it's disheartening. But at this point I know I haven't tried my absolute best, so quitting is out of the question. Maybe therein lies the secret... just plugging away until you absolutely know you can't do anymore... a threshold that would be nearly impossible to reach. And living with being disheartened along the way?? :)

    Good luck with the querying, and if you'd like an impartial 3rd party to read it over, give me a shout!

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    1. It does feel personal, even when it isn't, not really. I think just plugging away is the only thing one can do. Join in everything one can and try not to take rejection personally.

      Thank you for the lovely comment and the offer of a read over, I might take you up on that in future!

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  12. This is one of the most difficult parts of writing, but, as you said, what you get back is immeasurable. Even the rejections you received from agents or publishers will help strengthen you, toughen your skin, and make it easier to move ahead. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's true, especially in publishing. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to not try, to not put yourself out there to fail and learn. You can't succeed if you don't try.

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    1. You are so right, one has to take each rejection as a step to moving forward. You have to try. Thank you! Very encouraging!

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  13. Putting yourself out there is hard. There's nothing easy about it. I recommend you try some contests and stuff early on. They are great for getting feedback. Also, have you heard about Write On Con? look it up, that's another great place for feedback.

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    1. Ooh yes thank you I must Write On Con! Thank you for the encouragement!

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  14. If it weren't for my amazing crit buddies, I'd NEVER have the courage to take the next step! It's very scary taking those steps. If you need a push when the time comes, let me know!! :)

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    1. Thank you, I might come to you for a shove ;)

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  15. Yes, I'm totally scared for anybody to read my manuscript! Opinions very so much, it's just scary to get anything back because you don't know what you messed up on, or just didn't succeed in getting right.

    If anything, having people to share these fears with who are also going through it at the same time makes it 10 times easier to bear.

    Thanks for visiting my blog today!

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    1. I absolutely think it makes it easier when other people share their fears, that's why IWSG is so good isn't it! Thank you for visiting here ;)

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  16. Putting yourself out there is always daunting! I always admire the people who don't give up and continue going. And that is what I would advise. Be prepared for rejections but realize they are not rejecting you as person OR a writer. There are so many factors behind rejections that you can't control. The only thing you can control is your writing. So as long as you keep writing you will keep improving until you get that yes :)

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    1. How very inspiring and encouraging, thank you!

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  17. I remember the first time I sent any of my work to my CP's, I was literally ill. It was horrible. I kept wondering what I was thinking. However, I've learned and grown so much and now I can't wait for their feedback! :)

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    1. Yes it's interesting isn't it, that gap between fearing and coming to love it, and need it!

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  18. I've had to get over that quick. After you've done it a few times it gets easier. I have a few regular crit partners that I trust. They'll tell me its terrible, and I love them for it. It's great to meet you. I'm a new follower from IWSG.

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    1. Nice to meet you, thank you for coming and visiting ;)

      It is funny how with crit partners we want and love them for spotting the mistakes!

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  19. I completely sympathize. I admire anyone that puts themselves out there and lays their work bare for the world to see. It takes guts, and we all need to do it to be successful at what we do. Good luck!

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    1. We all have to do it, but it is so hard! Thank you for the comment and the luck.

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  20. I'm delaying sending out my query too. It's hard to put yourself out there. Also, I have an awesome writing cave and I just don't wanna leave. You can do it! It sounds cliche, but it will be worth it someday. :)

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    1. We will both have to bravely leave our cave ;) Thank you so for commenting!

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  21. Going public was the toughest thing for me. And for me, it was launching the blog; telling the world I was trying to be a writer. It was tough!

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    1. Telling the world is a big step! Thank you for commenting!

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  22. #sendityouwuss
    ROFL
    Yeah, my query deadline went from July to Aug and now it's Sept. Inside, however, I feel like I need another year to get it to the "perfect" stage, though my CPs have told me to send it already and start something new. Meanwhile, I just keep revising...

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    1. Oh I know well the perils of endless revising. I revise continuity mistakes INTO my piece, I've fiddled so much, I'm certain of it! I encourage you to #sendityouwuss ;)

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  23. Every time! Even with my faithful cps, I'm afraid the excitement I feel for my stories won't translate.

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    1. Glad to hear it is not just me ;) Thank you for commenting!

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  24. It's scary, sure, but without other eyes on your work, there's no way to improve. Or get that story you so needed to tell read.

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    1. Absolutely right, you need to get that feedback! Thank you for commenting.

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  25. Oh yeah, I always feel a little nervous about sending stuff out for others to read. There's a small part of me that worries if other people will like it. I know a rejection of my writing is not a rejection of me, personally, but it can be hard to remember that at times...

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    1. It is hard to steel oneself sometimes isn't it? Maybe a allow a few minutes of feeling bad, then picking oneself up is the best way. I don't know. Thank you for commenting!

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  26. one of the reasons we write is to be read, but it can be hard to have others judge us! that is exactly what readers (no matter who) do. if they like a post, they comment, if they think your book will sell, they represent it...but this is certain, if you dont put it out there, you will never know! and just like finding a mate, you have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you find the prince! learn from each rejection & dont take it personally, it just wasnt meant to be for that one. keep going!

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    1. Absolutely right, great comparison to kissing a few frogs! It can feel like dating. Don't take it personally ;)

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  27. I love feed back but I hate to impose on family and friends.

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    1. It is very hard. That's why writing/blogging circles are helpful isn't it. Thank you for commenting!

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  28. It is hard to 'put yourself out there' and keep putting yourself there! It's also very time consuming and sometimes so disappointing. Results and feedback don't alwyas reflect the amount of time spent and you do wonder if it is all worth it... BUT it is if you truly love writing!

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    1. That's true, we all do it for the love don't we and if we get something back, that's a bonus! Thank you for commenting!

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  29. I wanted to let you know your WRiTE CLUB vote will not count unless you register on the Linky List. And the voting is close! :)

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    1. Thank you, all sorted and sorry about that!

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Please comment, I'd love to know what you think! :)